_ . [fionanoif] .

♥ Sunday, August 28, 2005 ♥ 12:57 PM
Slap me please.

I didn't expect myself to fall sick so fast again. But yeah, I'm sick. *sigh* On thursday, when we were watching the movie, I felt a little sick already. But I thought it was becasue of the air-con, making me feel cold. Heh. I was wrong. =/

Friday after school, I went out with Yvonne, Li Si, Cheryl, Yi Jia, Guan Lian, Derrick and Jun xian to eat at Ang Mo Kio central. I felt very weird being with them. I felt so odd lor. Then, Derrick start to leave first, then Yi Jia and Guan Lian. then Jun Xian. Lol. So funny. Like take turns sia. =P Then left us four girls. We walked around to look at some things lor. I was feeling a little sick liao. I've got blocked nose, cough and a little fever. I didn't care. I thought I was thinking too much. -_-

Then, half way through the journey, we/I saw someone. (For private purposes, her name will not be mentioned.) She was with her boyfriend. She started to explain a little to me on what's going on. But I just joked about. I don't want to hear. Then about 45 minutes later. She called me. This is so expected. Whenever someone or I saw her with her boyfriend, she will call me to so-called explain to me. What for? *sigh* Maybe what I said is not true lah. Then, I'll make a formal appolgize to her.

Reached home on Friday and realised I was really sick. *sigh* I wanted to rest for one hour but I cough until like nobody's business and I end up sleeping for only 10 minutes. *sigh* I hate being sick.

Alvin called me at 9 plus on Friday, telling me that he needed 2 more people to work. The first person I thought of was Lynnda. Called her and told her about the details and she said yes! Haha. Felt so happy. And was even happier when she told me that her whole day sucks until I called her. Hee. Then I called Coreen and she can make it too! Yippee! I've got two great pals working with me! Haha. Anyway, I played a joke on Lynnda and it was damn funny. She's so cute. Hehe.

Yesterday, I've to reach The Bayshore at 10 a.m. to meet Alvin, whereas for the others, they have to reach at 4.30 p.m.. *sigh* I was sick lor. But for the sake of Alvin, I went. Did he care? *sigh* I go so early also no salary take. Felt like a fool. But at least I did help out lor. =/

The event finally started at 6 p.m.. It was horrible. I coughed non-stop and I have to keep on repeating the rules to the residents. My voice changed. *sigh* I was so fucking sick. I nearly fainted a couple of times. But I just closed my eyes for a few seconds and when I opened, I'm alright liao. New method invented by me. =P My flu, fever and cough worsen liao. *sigh*

Last night, was the hardest night for me. =/

To you.
You know what. By doing those things that you had done which you thought was nothing much but actually means a lot to me, you really hurt me. That was why I acted that way. Call me a crazy girl or whatever you want. Because it doesn't matter to me anymore. Life is meaningless to me. I don't care about what others may think on how I'll hurt their feelings if I committed suidcide becuase have they ever spare a thought on how difficult for me to live in this world? I'm running away from the reality. I running away from you. I felt hurt whenever you make a promise, why is this so? I'm sick. And I think the energy in me is decreasing day by day. I think I'm dying emotionally. One fine day, I will be dead. And everyone will be happy. If only I wasn't born. If only my mother didn't forget to eat her birth control pills on that very one day. If only... *sigh*