_ . [fionanoif] .

♥ Wednesday, October 05, 2005 ♥ 2:21 PM
The answer: I did not go to school.

I was woken up by my cramps at 5.45 a.m. in the morning. I was very tired so I forced myself to sleep despite the pain. 15 minutes later, my alarm rang and I switched it off. I decided to take a little rest before getting up. After resting for 3 minutes, I got up and felt very dizzy. I lied back on my bed and my dad came in to wake me up. I told him that my stomach hurts a lot. He did not ask much and just ask me to rest well and forget about going to school. I had a hard time trying to send messages to Alvin, Lynnda and Yvonne. I told Yvonne that I couldn't be in school so that at least she would be able to tell our form teacher if she ever happens to ask. I told Lynnda that I couldn't meet her to go to school. I told Alvin that I wasn't going to school due to my cramps. Both of them replied me but Alvin hasn't done so. It had been 7 and a half hours already but I've got no reply from him. =/

Anyway, I vomitted twice this morning. I hate having my period plus the cramps. It always make me vomit. Partly because I'm scared of blood. Once, I fainted after seeing the huge amount of blood being taken out of me. Haha. That's why I vomitted when I saw the blood. I just find it disgusting lor. Moreover the pain was really unbearable. It hurts so much that it caused me to vomit even more. Heh. I'm weak huh.

I'm a clean freak and even though I'm in a great pain, I still insisted on taking a bath. The cramps started to become worse. I squat on the toilet floor half-naked and shut my eyes as if I could shut off the pain. But I don't know how did this happen, and that I had fallen asleep when I was squatting down. Haha. I was woken up by a sneeze. I quickly took a nice warm bath and got out of the toilet. I asked my sister to help me to make the medicine for me. I do not know how and I dare not swallow pills/tablets/capusles, therefore I had to ask my sister to pound it for me. I was too weak to do it and the tablets were quite hard lor. Hee. Thanks jie! After taking the medicine, I felt much better liao. Then I fell asleep while watching television. I even dreamt of a dream. I dreamt of Alvin. I dreamt that he was hugging me. Then he told me something which I kept on couldn't hear it no matter how many times he tried to repeat. *sigh* Then I woke up liao. Felt very disturbed by the dream. Like as if it reflects the reality of us. On how much we are so near yet so far. =/ I miss him. I really do.

I haven't eat anything since morning. I only drank a cup of milo which kind of sucks because it's only luke warm. I like it a little hot. =/ I've got no mood to do any other things so I surf the net mostly I was looking through people's blogs. =x I went to wenn's blog (http://imperfectillusionist.blogspot.com/) and something caught my attention at her 'daily reads'. It was 'love diary' (http://sassyjan-lovediary.blogspot.com/). I clicked and read it. I cried quite a few times when I read her entires. Memories of Alvin just flooded my mind. *sigh* I missed him even more. I cried a little too much so I decided to stop reading.

What are you doing, my love? What are you thinking now? Why haven't you message me? I know that few months back you told me that you will be very busy but I just miss you a lot. I just hope to see your message or hear your voice for a second. You know how terrible the feeling is to miss you so badly but you will never know. You used to read my blog but now, you are too busy to even care. I miss you so much, so much that I'm scare I'll go crazy anytime soon.