_ . [fionanoif] .

♥ Tuesday, January 03, 2006 ♥ 12:57 AM
Invisible

Yesterday I was working and honestly, I felt damn bored and kind of 'extra' there. It was like I wasn't needed there but was just placed into doing a position just for the sake of doing a work. What the fuck? I wasn't very happy obviously. But at the end of the day, the boss told Alvin that I did a better job. =/ I think I didn't do much lor. So what good did I actually do huh? Funny. =P

Anyway, Alvin's friend, who is also my friend, Jay, told me that I looked prettier than last time. First compliment in 2006. Haha. Thanks Jay. =) Then, the other three boys were like total jokers. I couldn't stop laughing when they were around. Oh ya, Jay also did some magic tricks. Very impressive. I want to learn too! Any teachers want to teach??

At first, at the first part of the day of yesterday, like I said I felt like out of place, and of course I didn't really enjoyed myself. But after work, it was more relaxed and I had a lot of fun. Before, during and after dinner with Alvin, was also a great time for me. Then I got home and all that. Everything was fine until I went online. I hate the feeling everytime when I go online and there were like about 20 contacts on my list of MSN which was online, but fuck, who really comes and talk to me? A simple fucking hi can just change one's fucking feeling lor. I felt like a fucking invisible being. What the fuck I go online for? Just to make a fucking fool out of myself? Might as well I just not go online and I guess fucking no one cares lor. I'm sick and tired of being a nobody lah. What the fuck I worked so hard? Do I really want to get to that position that I am now? No. I just want to fucking prove that I'm good enough than your any other fucking workers. Stop fucking force me to do that fucking job lah. Damn stressed up lor. I'm not experienced enough and I fucking need some guidance but you think what? I'm God ar. Throw me a fucking event and expect me to know what to do? CB lah. I don't know. And I don't want to know. Now and never.

Don't fucking ask me what's going on lah! Because it's fucking too late okay. Thanks for acting like you cared. Thanks for treating me invisible. Yes. I felt good alone. Sick and tired of this fucking life. Damn messed up.

And you fucking bitch, stop reading my fucking blog lah. I don't welcome you here ok. I can see that you are fucking laughing at my fucked up life right. Wait till your fucking life get messed up. And we'll see who's the last one laughing.