_ . [fionanoif] .

♥ Monday, June 12, 2006 ♥ 10:09 PM
Ouch

Rough start for the beginning of the day.

Just took a stupid photo to show how I was feeling.

Different emotions flood into me.

Disappointment. Anger. Hurt. Upset. Tired. Fed-up. Tensed. Lonely. Hopeless. Stressed-up. Anixety. Depressed. Sad.

*sigh* I don't know what the fuck is going on lah. Ever since early in the morning the fucked up thing happened, my whole day seemed so sucky lor. Fuck lah. I don't mean you, my dear. It was a great surprise, I was seriously happy but when someone said that thing. It hurts me real bad. You may think it was nothing bad afterall but it wasn't you. How will you know how it feels? It really made self-esteem went damn low. So hurt. So pain. Ouch. She's afterall a well-like girl who can says whatever she likes and wouldn't get scolded for even though it was wrong and I'm exactly the opposite of her. Can't blame her huh.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

For whatever it means.

I guess my boss knew I wasn't in my usual self today but she didn't say or ask anything and I'm glad she did. I don't wish to talk. I was so upset that I didn't even had my lunch. I just didn't feel like it. Whole day I was like doing my work aimlessly. At 6, I knock off and went home, walking like a zombie. I felt so sick. So sick and tired of this working life.

Met a Primary School friend, Siew Leng, on the bus when I was on my way home. Had quite a good chat with her. I miss the good old times.

Reached home and I really feel like locking myself in the room, blast my radio up and probably die with a smile. So god damn tired of trying to act as if nothing had happened. Why can't you see it through these fake smiles that I'm not all right? That I seriously need you with me?! Fuck lah.

How beautiful this rose is... but beneath that beautiful surface, hides a hundred thorns.